More Thoughts

I thought that I would write a little more of what I'm feeling while I'm waiting for Dr Bs office to contact me.  I have no idea how long that will take.

I find myself thinking about the surgery all the time...about what it will be like...about what I will tell people.

I'm not planning on telling anyone except for my best friend and my hubby...and they already know.

I'm CERTAINLY not telling his family and I'm not even going to tell my family before hand.

But, I think that I'm going to write everyone a letter...everyone that means something to me...and let them know how much I love them.  Then, if something happens, Dana can give them their letters and they will know how much I love them and what I was thinking.

I need this surgery...no matter what the risk.

I'm so sick of feeling this way.  I've given up hope of losing weight any other way.

I think I'm pretty motivated.

I think I know that I will never be able to eat normally again...that I'll have to find a NEW normal.

I'm scared that something will happen while I'm on the table because I've had so many bad reactions to procedures, etc.  I'm REALLY scared of the general anesthesia.

Anyway, that's enough for now.