More Thoughts

I thought that I would write a little more of what I'm feeling while I'm waiting for Dr Bs office to contact me.  I have no idea how long that will take.

I find myself thinking about the surgery all the time...about what it will be like...about what I will tell people.

I'm not planning on telling anyone except for my best friend and my hubby...and they already know.

I'm CERTAINLY not telling his family and I'm not even going to tell my family before hand.

But, I think that I'm going to write everyone a letter...everyone that means something to me...and let them know how much I love them.  Then, if something happens, Dana can give them their letters and they will know how much I love them and what I was thinking.

I need this surgery...no matter what the risk.

I'm so sick of feeling this way.  I've given up hope of losing weight any other way.

I think I'm pretty motivated.

I think I know that I will never be able to eat normally again...that I'll have to find a NEW normal.

I'm scared that something will happen while I'm on the table because I've had so many bad reactions to procedures, etc.  I'm REALLY scared of the general anesthesia.

Anyway, that's enough for now.

First Steps

I've taken my first steps toward gastric bipass.

I filled out the packet Dr B's office requires and I turned in a release of records for Dr M's office.

Now I guess I wait to hear from Dr B's office.

I went to the original informational meeting about two years ago and I never filled out the papers.  I wasn't ready then.

But, now I am.

I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.

I have been diagnosed with HPTN, severe sleep apnea, gastric reflux, and rheumatoid arthritis.  Most of those diagnoses would be helped (if not totally be cured) if I lost weight.

Plus, mom had cardiac bipass in her early 60s.  I don't want to end up like that, and that's where I'm headed if I don't get some of this weight off.

So, am I in a place mentally where I'm ready for this?

I think so.

I've been thinking about it in the back of my mind since the meeting two years ago, and I think I'm ready.  I must be at least a little ready if I was willing to fill out a packet of papers...I HATE paperwork!

Anyway.  I wanted to start this blog to jot down my thoughts about bipass surgery and to record my journey.

We'll see if I follow through.